As we were sitting on the couch last night after a wild night of trick-or-treating with the kids, we couldn't help but think about what were were doing 11 years ago. The answer was wrapping up our rehearsal dinner and nervously, getting ready for a fun, action-packed wedding day.
But eleven years. In some ways it feels like a million years ago. As in, I've been married for a third of my lifetime! So much has happened. Jobs, moves, kids, trips. How can so many memories fit into eleven years?
But eleven years in other ways has flown by. Sometimes, I have to think about how old I am and that I didn't just graduate from Carolina 2 years ago - it was 11 years ago. I'm 33, not 23. I happen to have the grey hair to prove it too but I like to think that it's my wisdom showing.
I don't know that I have a whole lot of wisdom to share - that other people haven't already articulated way more eloquently than I. But I will say a few things:
A few (of many) keys to a grace-filled marriage:
+ let the Holy Spirit work through your marriage. If you put your selfish and worldly desires aside and let the Holy Spirit in, He will work in ways you never thought were possible.
+ have fun. There is some much to the daily grind and distractions and stuff, but marriage is a fun, wild ride so enjoy it.
+ sometimes it is best to just not say anything. Listen and think and consider the other person before speaking or acting. Some of the biggest misunderstandings come from immediate, emotional responses that are in-the-moment and if you take a moment or two to cool off, it can make a world of a difference.
To close, I feel so incredibly blessed that God put Lee in my life and we got on this marriage train together. I hands down, love the life I am living and while people may see all our kids and think the kids are our life - our marriage is our life. Our kids, our arrows, our olives, are here because of our marriage. We were first so when we do have an occasional dinner and we can reconnect without the kids, we catch a glimpse of what life was like without them. So much of our marriage (in our current season of parenting) is sacrificing for the sake of the kids but I suppose at some point in the unforeseeable future the house will empty out and it will be just us. Then we will be sacrificing in new ways but always for the other and always to glorify God.
This is definitely not the path I envisioned for myself but I absolutely love life. Are there things I don't like, yes of course. But when I take a step back and consider the man who is by my side and our kids who teach us, and force us to grow and think deeper and be better - it takes my breath away and I am forever grateful.