Wednesday, December 2, 2015

E and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning

Mornings around here are usually pretty busy. Breakfast, brushing teeth, get dressed, pray, get out of dodge - the normal stuff. This morning was particularly hard though. And if for no other reason than wanting to remember how I felt, here goes...

E had American Heritage Girls last night and got home late - so she was tired to begin with. She woke up earlier than I'd like because I couldn't snag M before she woke E up. Then her neck hurt and her tooth was loose and her head hurt all before breakfast started.

Papa was packing lunch and he was about to pack a clementine.

E - Papa I don't want an orange
Papa - Why? You need it
E - I just don't want it
Papa - Its good vitamin C
E - But it means I HAVE MORE TRASH to throw away

Then she said her tummy hurt - as soon as she finished breakfast. Fearing the worst, I took her temperature and it was fine - 3 times. I told her to get dressed and see how she felt.

As we are scurrying out the door - and no further mention of the tummy - she informs me she'd like to take an AR quiz on a book she read last night.

A. I need to know this the night before
B. I have no extra forms anyways

Next, she doesn't have enough room in her carseat.

Upon this I lose my cool and tell her that there are number of little girls who would love to have a carseat to ride in, and a school to go to, and etc etc etc... before the garage door closes.

Finally when I work up the nerve to speak - lest I regret something else - I mention that we have to return our books to the library tomorrow.


Today happens to be library day at school and E did not get her book that was lying RIGHT next to her folder which she is responsible for packing.

Totally feeling bad for her because she is so, so, so distraught over this book. Even if I had time to turn around and get it (we were halfway to school) - I wouldn't because responsibility is a hard thing to learn. I've let her turn in homework without her name on it for the exact same reason. BUT it is still hard to listen to her be so sad about the book - plus the book really isn't that interesting so even I was hoping for a new one.

Book at her spot during lunch : ( 

Then she composes herself - barely - as we pull up to school. But not after telling me her tummy hurts. I tell her to wait it out until snack and if she still doesn't feel good she can call me and I'll get her. At this point, I'm thinking she just wants to skip library. Anyhow, she gets out of her seat and I ask her what coat she wants. Her winter coat or rain jacket? She wants her school coat which is... 

on the rack at home because if I carried around 3 coat options for everyone I'd end up with 12 coats in my front seat. 

She tearfully settles on the purple one and collects herself for one more time. 

Before we go through the carpool line I apologize for yelling at her - it is so hard and yet so powerful asking your child to forgive you. Then she gives me one more squeeze and she's off.

And I'm a wreck. For her sake. 

I'm sad for her that she's not having a great day - in fact her morning has been pretty mediocre. I hope that nothing legit is going on with her tummy. I hope that she's not thinking about me yelling at her. I hope that she doesn't shed a tear at the library. I hope she doesn't get cold without her coat. I hope she remembers her line for the Christmas program. I hope all these things so that she'll have a better day

I seriously wanted to drive down to the school just to check on her - but I know I can't. I just want to KNOW that she's fine and she's having a better day. I think about her all morning. I pray for her. I hope for her. 

I do know that one huge bright spot in her day is Jibbe and Aunt Mary going to have lunch with her - something that was pre-planned well before all this panned out. I give Jibbe a heads up about the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning.

Then at 12:31 I call for the coveted intel. 

No answer

A few minutes later my insider tells me E is doing fine and is having a great day according to the kindergarten herself. 

I knew she'd be fine but I just needed to hear it. 

When she got home from school she was in a good mood. I didn't hear anything about the jacket or the book or any complaints. Only that she had a good day and Jibbe brought her lunch. I made E give me three squeezes - because I just needed a few extra, which was so true. I needed those squeezes because  I had a rough day just thinking about her. 

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