Saturday, February 1, 2020

I'm Sleeping Alone

Tonight I'm sleeping alone.

For the first time in 12 and a half months I'm sleeping alone.

Sleeping without you.

For nine months you slept on the inside. I knew you were there before I could feel you and you were our little secret. Then there was lots of excitement and anticipation and kicks and elbowing.

A little more than four months ago out you came and doubled up our brother population.

We've been basically inseparable for four months. We've been bunking up despite the pediatrician not loving the set up - but this time they never asked what the sleeping arrangements are - maybe because they didn't want to know.

Over the past few weeks you've gotten bigger and are taking up more of the bed and don't like covers and I need space and covers so we are having a bit of a conflict.

I wasn't ready for the crib yet. You are still so little. I want you to stay little forever but I know better. You are a growing little bean and before we know it you'll be going to kindergarten.

I wasn't ready to put you in the crib but I knew it was time because we both needed to not wake each other up.

So tonight I'm sleeping alone and so are you. I'll be an arms length away and I'll be checking on you like crazy and I'll miss my little bed mate but I think we'll both sleep better. Maybe with a tear in my eye because I'm not ready for you to be this big.

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