And I believe I suffer from the same syndrome each time.
I don't have any idea what life will look like in 21 or 28 days or somewhere in between because we are just living life to the fullest everyday - whether it is school or church or soccer or eating meals or reading books or cleaning up or sitting outside or spending time with family and friends - we just soak it up. Sure there are some not-so-great parts. Of course I yell at the kids more than I should but that's not what is remembered.
Take for example a few nights ago, Papa was at his Bible Study so the girls and I hovered around the couch and we each got to pick out a book (including me). Sure I could have said one and done book and gotten everyone in bed 35 minutes sooner but sometimes (most times) a little breaking of the rules and extending of bedtimes might just be worth. Though I will say last night we had a similar situation and story time got nixed because the girls were exhausted from soccer practice plus R did not nap one second yesterday afternoon plus E is just generally needing more sleep (as she melted down earlier over 'not being able to cut out her cat' homework).
SO... where does all this leave bebe #4.
Honestly I have no idea.
Will our world be changed? Yes - and for the better.
Will we survive? - Of course - we've done new baby before
But I just don't know what it will look like.
Having been induced with #3 at 41 weeks there was no great race to the hospital (except that false alarm) - no sense of - Oh my goodness I'm having the bebe on the side of the road. So I'm more than a bit anxious to see how labor pans out and hopefully in a hospital room as peacefully as labor can go : )
Then there's the whole boy/girl thing. Really, really. Lee and I both have written off this baby being a boy - which is fine, right? I mean a boy would be the only surprise for me at this point - which I guess we like surprises since we did not find out boy/girl 17 weeks ago.
No need for this color, right?
I'm kind of disappointed in Lands End color this season. We already have a pink, yellow and purple and when M was born they had this great orange color (fall bebe) but then there was purple so purple it was. I think this baby will have this silver-ish color unless something new (either color or gender: ) comes up between now and a month.
Side note, the medium totes are fantastic diaper bags/ thrown everything into this bag for a day - I'm not paid to say that but if you are looking for a good baby gift for someone who doesn't like their current diaper bag - hook a mama up with one - with the zipper top
And what the heck about the names? I can say I really like both sets of names that we have picked - I couldn't say I was 100% on board with M's name at this point when I was pregnant with her. I agreed to it of course but then I got to thinking about it and I would have changed it on the spot in the delivery room. BUT, now I love it and I think it definitely fits her. For this baby, the girl name could be an easy pick/guess and I think people will 'get it'/see it - it is fairly predictable. The boy name on the other hand (which we won't be needing anyway, right? : ) I think people are going to think ??? really. Really??? Very Catholic. Very Biblical but - how'd you get that. There is a family tie to it so that makes me happy but again not going to need it so what difference does it make?
Well that's what happens when you try two other obvious boy names on for size with previous pregnancies... my all-time favorite boy name is actually second on the list and if there were to be a delivery room switch up I'd advocate for it but Lee would advocate for name number one so this is why we seal the name deal before it is worth getting into an emotional argument over : )
So we will come home (our prayer is always for a happy and healthy baby) and then life will begin. The girls will have to go to school. Papa will have Bible Study. There will be soccer games and practices. There will be homework. There will be eating. There will be playing. There will be arguments over things I will never understand. Everything is the same but different with a new person tossed into the mix.
I will go ahead and put this out there - there are two big events in October that I will be missing out on because of this baby's arrival:
1. A friend's ordination. We happened (I'm sure not by chance) to meet at World Youth Day in Germany 10 years ago. I had just really started getting into the eastern Catholic side of the Church and the group I was with was a very western Latin Mass group. When I told the leader I was exploring the East they said, Oh you have to meet 'Joe from England'. Well I did and 10 years later - after he came to our wedding and spent a Christmas with our family - he will be ordained in a few weeks. Can I tell you how bummed that I cannot travel to Ohio for that? (I suppose I could but I'm not one to play with fire)
2. A friend's wedding. This wedding goes down as wedding #2 in the history of weddings I missed because of babies. Now this is Lee's best friend. He's E's godfather. So yeah... He is kind of important in our family. (I missed E's godmother's wedding when I was pregnant with her and in hindsight I totally should have gone - so yeah important peeps). Could I travel with a 2 week old to the wedding? Maybe if it wasn't a plane trip or a 13 hr car ride away. I am quite sure my mental health could be damaged if I went though. Who knows if this baby will be a good sleeper or a not good sleeper. A need-to-be-walked or a need-to-be-swung bebe? Plus the logistics of taking a newborn somewhere added onto the impending cold season in which the germ-a-phob in me rears its head and needs to sanitize everything.
So my thoughts are swirling. I'm wondering if we can just delay this whole labor thing until about 2016 but I'm quite sure that won't happen. I'm thrilled at the thought of running again. I cannot tell you how badly I just want to shoot off and jog a couple miles. I am ready to not be pregnant and there are implications (like a newborn) that have to be reckoned with.
I asked Lee if he thought we should put the infant carrier in the car - his response? - in a few weeks. Then I reminded him that 'in a few weeks' might just be a little too late : )
You have such a great mix of laid back and nervous and everything in between! I think it's all just Trust in God that everything will be fine! :)ReplyDelete
You have family and friends to help with logistical issues and stuff, so you can just focus on adjusting to your "new normal" :)
Can't wait to meet bebe #4!
And you have no idea how much you have helped make a huge chunk of the afternoon 'logistical stuff' disappear!!!Delete