Friday, March 28, 2014

7 Quick Takes - Thoughts on Pregnancy

Random Guy walking past us and shouted upon seeing M - Grandkids... They'll change your life!

{Isn't it funny how babies can bring out the best in people???}

--- 1 ---

No. I am not pregnant. This post is 100% inspired by a great friend who recently told me she was pregnant (with her first). 

--- 2 ---

Now that we have clarified that. Isn't it always so exciting when someone announces their pregnancy? Well I find it super exciting. I mean come on, what is more awesome then a little person growing inside you? When you really start to think about life and babies in that way, the word miracle comes to my mind. And surviving parenting each little miracle is another miracle in and of itself : ) 

I can still remember the first time I drove to the OB's office for my first ever prenatal appointment. It was in a different town. Lee and I drove separately because we both had to go to work afterwards. I remember turning onto the street the office is on and thinking "Is this really happening?" I was 8 weeks pregnant and feeling totally overwhelmed with emotions and decisions and my life. 

Grateful for the gift of life. 
Wondering how our lives were going to change. 
Would I work. 
Would I stay at home. 
Is this baby healthy. 
Wait it is only one baby or two. 
Boy or girl. 
What would our families say.
What would our friends say. 
This is insane. 

I have made that lefthand turn onto Horton Blvd so many times since then but I have such an emotional connection with that first time. Maybe because it meant I was turning into a mama. 

--- 3 ---
Being pregnant for the first time everything is new and if you can wrap your finger around the fact that your life will change in the most greatest way - ever - and this does not totally overwhelm you, then hat's off to you. For the rest of us, until you hold that baby for the first time and take him (or her) home and realize that you can 'do' this whole being a mama thing - the first pregnancy is one of waiting and being anxious.

Being pregnant with E, R and M has been a totally different experience each time. E - see above. R - all I could think about was how will we handle two? How will E react? How can we love another little person as much as we love E? As I was working on this post, this post came through my feed and it fits exactly as to how being pregnant with baby #2 feels like. Then with M there were so fewer unknowns. I mean I was pretty sure of myself about being able to get through labor, I knew I would likely be relatively successful at breastfeeding, I knew was it was like to be up in the middle of the night with a newborn. All the worries that I when I was pregnant with R were gone. All my anxiousness I had with E was nowhere to be found.

--- 4 ---
The first time you are pregnant there are certain rights of passage. Baby showers. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E being super excited when you tell them the news. The first ultrasound.

Seeing that little person on the black and white ultrasound screen for the first time and that instant love that you feel there is absolutely nothing like it. How is it possible you can love someone you have never met? 

Speaking of very vivid pregnancy memories. I can still remember being at my 12 weeks appointment when I was pregnant with E and the nurse could not find a heartbeat on the doppler. And she tried again. Then she left. The doctor came in and tried a third time and still no heartbeat. Lee and I waited the longest 10 minutes of our lives to get an ultrasound. I have prayed long and hard before but I think waiting in the ultrasound waiting area at my OB's office was one of the hardest I've ever prayed. 

Turns out E was quite well and wiggling around like a crazy girl (even though EVERYONE thought she was going to be a boy) 

--- 5 ---
Now let's not forget that there are a number of women who have not yet been able to share in these 'first time pregnancy moments' because for one reason or another, they cannot conceive. To all you women, I pray for you everyday. Honest truth. 

Several good friends of mine have struggled with fertility. And while I have no idea what you are going through, I am here for you. 

Women should never take being able to have children for granted 

--- 6 ---
That being said, what is the appropriate response to the question, "So will you be trying for a boy?" "Well, I guess so' is usually my response. Is that a really an honest response?

Maybe next time I'll answer the question with a question or two: If we had a boy and a girl would you like to assume that we are not going to be open to more? Are you assuming that we would be disappointed if we had another girl or two or five?

Okay actually I'd never probably never really respond to a question like that but if I do, I'll let you know.

--- 7 ---
Here is a breathe-o-fresh-air conversation that I had with another random guy

Random Guy - Is that your first? {points to M}
Me - No; she's our third
RG - Oh wow
Me - Yep
RG - Well we were only blessed with one but we would have taken two, three, four… six?
Me - Oh nice!

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  1. Found you via is funny how emotional moments while driving connect to certain places. For example, I still haven't turned left at the place I had my car accident with my son in the car, and get nervous every time I pass it. Then, there are warm fuzzy feelings every time I drive past my midwife's house. :)

  2. That "trying for a boy/girl" question is always so awkward to me! Although I have to say, we really are trying for more boys - John Paul needs brothers! And my husband's going crazy with all the estrogen in the house - the girls need everything PINK and PURPLE and SPARKLY and it's just. so. much.

  3. Unfortunately after loss, new pregnancies lose a lot of their joy. I was so blessed to have a joyful first pregnancy so it doesn't feel as awful now that that isn't the case, but I really mourn for the women who lost their first baby or have dreadful complications and therefore never get to experience pregnancies without serious doubts and fear.