Not that Papa would actually hijack the blog and post something - here's what I think he would have said about my recent 3 night, 2 day trip to Orlando for work. There is a blog a read that the papa has randomly posted on the blog and it was pretty humorous so hopefully Lee will appreciate this... though I might have to do some addendums or amendments to fill in the blanks. This is as factual as I know without having been here with a little whit thrown in. Papa totally did a fantastic job and I am so happy he got through it!
When Mama told me that she her boss needed her to go out of town for a few nights I thought "Score, now I get to taste what it is like being the stay at home dad"
We had all our help lined up. Jibbe and Aunt Mary on Sunday. Grammy on Monday. That just left me with getting the girls in bed on Saturday and getting them to school on Tuesday. How complicated could that be?
I got home from my electrical class the day Mama was leaving and the house was spotless - seriously - bathrooms cleaned, laundry done, vacuuming done - all by 2 in the afternoon. Maybe she could go out of town more often?!?!?! We pack up and head to church for Vespers. The girls did surprisingly well without crisis or screams. We head to the airport. Mama goes over the written schedule with me? Is this really necessary??? Ah well I pay attention just in case. Four pages is kind of excessive for being gone less than 72 hours. The girls are quiet in the back enjoying their milk Mama packed. No tears when we do the drop at the airport. This is going to be a breeze.
We get back on the highway and head home. Enter R who is really annoyed with the extended time in her carseat and let's us know about it. The screams persist for 45 minutes. Here we go... Enter E about half way through the 1 long ride who announces that she needs to use the potty. We begged her to use the potty at church but she adminantly would not go. Must have been all the milk. Sweet. Fortunately she is accident free until we get home. I have heard my share of potty talk for the month. But Nini fell and E screamed about that too. Then as I open the van door when we get home - Nini catches on the door. Another screaming crisis. Get the girls in fed and in bed and bam. One night down, two to go. Now time to watch football. Oh wait football is not on for another day and it is the last two of the three games this season!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday Jibbe and Aunt Mary get to the house in plenty of time for me to get to church. Homily was a success. No problems to report from the morning. Jibbe and Aunt Mary take E to the park. R is down for a nap. Football time baby!!! R wakes up and in her crawling about manages to bust her lip open! Blood! Tears! Mama is not going to be happy about this. R gets back to normal soon after a snuggle and a few minutes with her cup. Got that under control!!! E and gets home and we realize she is having a potty issue. Where is Mama??!??!?!? This has never happened. E runs around the house announcing she needs her cream to feel better. No problem. Fried chicken and fixings for dinner curiousity of Aunt Mary and Jibbe - yeah they are awesome. They help bathe the girls and bedtime is complete. More football please!
Now you must understand that our girls have been sleep trained since they were about 3 months old - the monitors are a formality. Well not Sunday night. E was up 5 times saying she need cream. 5 times??? I keep up with her change her diaper and get her settled.
Monday morning comes early and talk goodness for coffee. Grammy rolls into the Mount in time for breakfast and after many consults it is determined that a call to the pediatrian is in order - good thing Mama put that in that list/schedule thing. Awesome! I have been to the pediatrian one time - when E was 2 months old. This is a mom department chore. Well it turns out the Dr needs a sample to send to the lab. A sample. Ha! Are you kidding? Now how do you convince a 2.5 yr old to make pee-pee in a cup? Are you insane? Grammy is there to help coax her but E is not buying the candy bribe - at all. Second call to pediatrician. Fortunately after passing the phone around it was determined that there was an essential piece to the cup puzzle that was missing ( I never actually saw this contraption but sounds like a funnel that covers the entire potty so that there is no traumatic experience when trying to convince a 2 yrd old to make pee pee in a cup. Really??? Really? Come on people!
Grammy and E make cookies and do lots of other things before our appointment and with the occasional "I need cream" interlude. Of course R is just hanging around taking it all in. Books packed and Grammy with R - E and I head off to the pediatricians office. With the funnel contraption going pee-pee in the cup is not a problem at all. Thank you lab tech for forgetting this essential attachment. Then to the room. We wait and we wait. Man maybe Mama was right about crazy wait times. With a prescription in hand and a sample off to the labs E and I headed to Sam's to get the meds.
Somewhere in the craziness of the day I check in on Jibbe after her knee surgery. Get the girls in bed. E not thrilled Mama is gone. No wake ups through the night - ahhhh - to sleep through the night
Tuesday morning time to get this show on the road. Now this is a process I try not to interrupt in the mornings when I am home. Mama is in full Mama mode. For an hour is all about getting the girls fed, dressed, and out the door. Who knew that is was that challenging? E laligagged around and did not really want to eat until the last minute. R screamed if there was not enough milk in her cup. I make sure that they have warm clothes on - a oneie and tights for R and tights, leggings, undershirt and turtleneck for E. Now hair? Ha! Fortunately E wanted to wear a hairband because braids were not an option. Get out the door with coats and snacks and bags and bookbags. Whoa! What a thrill. We get to school - on time - park up top just like Mama said. E to school check. R to school check.
Mama got home in time to get the girls from school. I am pretty sure I was just as thrilled to see her as the girls. Also pretty sure I am seriously considering up-ing her life insurance policy